– …, don’t you think so?
– Yeah yeah yeah.
(I didn’t hear what you said so I’m just gonna say yeah and hope it’s enough)
In my attempt to break out of this, I have said these words exactly; “Oh, I didn’t hear what you said anyway, was hoping my ‘yeah’ was enough of an answer“, completely changing the whole feel and pace of the conversation.
How is that many, when asked a question, do not give you a clear answer, but just elope? If you were to try to describe what was their message, you probably would not even know how to put it in words- did they just shrug their shoulders, or remained silent? Or said just anything, but an actual answer? I know that sometimes people just do not want to speak about certain topics. I totally understand it. But have enough dignity to say “I do not want to talk about it”, instead of just keeping silent. Instead of eloping. Your language, and ability to communicate should be a tool to you to speak your thoughts, for that your thoughts are your most inner and true version of yourself.
Other example, “solving” a problem by just walking away from it, with no sentence or word of explanation is just a cowardice. Running away from it always makes it worse; this statement must have been repeated enough times so to become the truth. How is it that some people dare to stop a friendship within couple of days by just floating away? And even worse, acting like nothing is changed, like everything is just fine and normal. Well guess what, it’s not.
Speak up. Explain yourself. The reason why you want it – to change a job, end a relationship, sell the house your salary has been working for so hard, or leave the country you live – should be the only one, that allows you to think and act with integrity. It is how you feel. At any point in your life, when something does not feel right, you should ask yourself “Am I happy?”, and if not, then saying “Because I am not happy” is a damn well reason enough to change job, end a relationship, sell house or do any thing in this world that you truly feel like doing.
Other than that, never try to avoid giving a clear answer. Do not leave the issue without resolving it. You do not want it to remain as an unfinished puzzle never to be solved. Be honest with yourself, be mature enough, and have enough respect for you, and the other person, to resolve whatever needs to be resolved. Do not go around pretending everything is fine when it’s clearly not.
Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
(by Miguel Angel Ruiz)
Why would you start investing all your time and effort in somebody if then, suddenly, you stop speaking with them and not giving a clear explanation? Why bother at all? It is called integrity that is needed so to not leave any unfinished business. So to not leave the other person hanging onto a hope. So to actually do what you’re saying you will do. And, sometimes, ‘saying’ is not necessarily put in words, but in actions. When actions are true with what you want and plan to do.
If you are not sure you will do something, say so, say you are UNSURE. And finally, if you don’t want to do it, say it. Say no. Be true to yourself instead of making meaningless promises, whether it’s by your word or actions. Those are worth nothing but a medal of immaturity, borderline with worst kind of dishonesty.
Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.
(by W. Clement Stone)
If you suddenly change your mind, having second thoughts about any place or situation you are in – feel free to ‘untangle’ yourself out of it. Ask yourself, “Am I happy in it?” and feel free to walk away at any moment, but always explain yourself. You do not need to feel obliged to sacrifice your own self for the sake of someone else all the time.
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy, as said by Robert Tew, but I would take it further. Walk away, but do it in a mature, proper way. Changing your mind and turning a place upside down if you need it is not wrong, but the way you do it- this is what really counts.
Never elope. Some people, instead of clearly stating “I will not speak about this”, they mastered the skill of speaking their way out even out of straight, clear Yes/No questions. I could probably give a shout out to some politicians for this skill.
Switch to disarming honesty, please. Switch to your own integrity in what you do, what you say, what you think.