Taking a step back

A moment of serendipity. A leap of faith. How scary is the perspective of a trifle being able to change the course of your entire life? In the past six months I have counted at least six potentially life changing crossroads. In each of them aΒ slightestΒ turn in my decisions could have led me to an entirely different place. Workplace, university, people, city, even countries – in past six months I’ve had three of them to live in.

Having a hard time to decide on either one of the theories of human destiny; whether your faith ultimately brings you to a place you are supposed to end up in, or is it that you are on the road, surrounded by a vast net of choices, each and every one leading to different outcomes. Eighth dimension of all the parallel possibilities in which your life could go.

Β “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.”

– Karl Marx
The resolution that has evolved recently is one good teacher about taking a step back in order to take a step forward. By following the gut feeling, looking for the unknown, I have found myself right where I am supposed to be. I’ve seen myself taking chances as fast as they arise, knowing they are, ultimately, trifles. The choice itself is a trifle. What scares us is the aftermath that follows. The Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 rule, states that roughly 80% of your happiness is an outcome of 20% of your actions. Only a fifth – how scary is the perspective of a trifle being able to change the course of your entire life?
What scares us is the different reality we will never see, having made a choice.
The reality is that the first decision, the easiest solution that seems to appear for you right in front of your eyes is the best one. Had to swallow my pride in order to go with it, and at this moment I am hell damn satisfied I did. Even though the road is never straight when you wander with your curiosity and stumble on your mistakes- but man, it’s hell of a ride. Driven by curiosity for all the unknown possibilities in life. Driven by wanting to know all the scenarios, I have cracked at one point, took a step back, moved forward so much more than I thought I would have done otherwise.
“We all think that we are running away from insanity. In reality, we are all running circles in our own asylums.”
-Avinash Wandre
It’s the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore that can cause you to take a step back and set your life back again on the track.
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