While growing up, moving from one place to another, going through various groups of people and getting to know huge amount of diversity among them, I have come to a point at which I start to realize what I really value in people, what I want, why I want it and – most importantly how to express it all.
I do not want to chit-chat about meaningless first-hand topics, just to kill the silence. That talk is cheap. I want a conversation that is layered; the one that holds allegories and second meaning that you and the other person catch with a subtle laugh, look at each other, smile, intonation.
I am tired of being the driving force of a conversation; I don’t want just a passive listener, one who laughs at my jokes, one who agrees – I want an equal interaction, created on many levels, able to dig into topics discussed days ago just to mention them as an allegory to something completely else discussed now. I want it so to transform a usual conversation into having thousand discussions at one time, filled with inside jokes, coded double meanings of words used, that one knows only if they have paid attention before. I yearn for that responsiveness, apparently so rarely found. The kind of responsiveness capable of intriguing strangers, raising creativity and laughter in most mundane and casual conversations.
I want to speak about random topics all at once, and then connect them all with one quote at the end, surprising not only the listener, but also myself with how it all suddenly makes sense. To speak about something and use it as a bridge to a next topic, which leads and feeds to something completely else, only to discover that we already have perfectly accurate comment on this subject, mentioned days ago in another context when we yet did not know it that we will use it again, but we are able to dig into our memory so to bring previous conversation to the surface. To pick up topics from events happening all around us, as we stand outside for a chat, social smoke, drink, or walk together. Situations and things you see around, incorporated as topics into the subjects you are already discussing make the best anecdotes. It is about linking it all; what you know, what you remember, what you’ve studied, what you see around, what you dream of. Suddenly everything you do merges together, grows in meaning because you actively pay attention to it. Because by doing so, you are capable of creating most witty, intelligent, funny, meaningful links and additions to a most mundane talk. You are able to turn any moment into an adventure, a caricature, into just anything that you want it to be. Suddenly, a conversation about anything becomes most inspiring. Most boring subjects are engaging, just by the way you carry the talk, by the additions you choose and the approach towards it you express.
Suddenly, some words are not quite accurate to express what you think, and you may find yourself inventing new ones, building your own idioglossia of meanings, signs and allegories. Your language becomes malleable as the conversation is demanding and challenging.
Whether it’s my experience, maturity, or simply boredom, no discussion is entertaining unless it involves an opinion or real meaning. Besides, this is exactly what definition of ‘discussion’ itself assumes. I like opinionated people. I like those who put themselves high up. It is this confidence that allows to disagree and bring something meaningful into a conversation, instead of relying on one person to guide whole talk. Instead of a small talk. Talking, but not really saying anything. Just a noise to fill up blank spaces in a conversation, cause you were unable to pick up previous subject and lead it further. Why? Because of not paying attention? Not being that interested in what people say, or simply being unable to come up with something creative to say, even though being thrown all easy open subjects into your face.
Conversation should go under “Art” heading. Two that create it can either build a masterpiece, or a wall between them. And once you start to understand what a real dialogue is, you’ll never want to go back to those that bring nothing into your life. You’ll grow demanding, skeptical, wishing for every conversation to be an opportunity leading to some next point. Wishing for it to leave you thoughtful, moved, unable to stay still, unable to fall asleep. These are those that you do not simply forget, those that serve you as a bridge to the next topic, those that you can combine all in few sentences of your next talk.